The laundry is flung on the guest room bed left unfolded for weeks at a time. The mountain grows three feet high and we pick our way through looking for what we need each morning.
After we get those wrinkled and crumpled clothes on our shivering bodies, we only have to walk around the house and the white dog hair from Tank jumps onto our finery like moths to a flame.
And now we are beautifully attired and ready to face a world that wonders just what goes on in our house.
The barn door came off its rails but it is open only 4 – 5 inches. None of us can squeeze in to get the needed old client files so safely tucked away in boxes under the silver tarp in the beautiful barn loft. Might wait until spring to get that door re-hung, because the snow blown up against it has hardened under the weight of more drifting snow and the ice formed by a warm day causing some melting only to be met with days like today where it is -31 when we get up, and every drop of moisture outside is solid! That door is shut for some time to come.
We howl at the hurts of years ago come back to haunt us. And we tire from the effort of battling demons old and new.
We struggle on, alternating optimism for victory with the sinking feelings that utter defeat is only moments away.
We are a mess.
Even in our messy broken, crumpled, defeated state, we know we are loved by a God who is there with us every moment of every day. Here is the proof:2665. Healthy baby for Daniel and Stacy
2666. Drive time with Andy
2667. short but fun drive with Andy to look at a crime scene
2668. Arrison curling up next to me on the couch – he’s getting cuddly after all.
2669. Home before full dark – a rare event in the winter.
2670. Time with Shawna talking and taking photos
2671. Completing a large volunteer project
2672. sharing something I really like and getting good feedback and affirmation.
2673. leftovers for dinner making an easy evening.
2675. J able to express his feelings
2676. J wanting/seeking out time with wise adults to process traumatic events
2677. J feeling affirmed by his teachers in a challenging social situation.
2678. Andy and I unified in helping J through a tough situation
2679. Access to an important resource on short notice
2680. Evening at home with Marissa joining us for social time.
2681. Tank sleeping with Andy on the couch
2682. Sophie, Arnika and Arrison sleeping on the foot of our bed
2683. DK’s gangly body playing basketball so very well.
2684. J’s insight into people
2685. Solid legal advise for someone important at the death of a loved one
2686. R & J’s good care for Liz
2687. Connecting with Sarah W. over aging in-law issues
2688. The kindness of “strangers” at MCS events
2689. J standing firm for what he believes is the right way to handle a troubled student’s harassment
2690. A new-to-us bigger BBQ – free hand-me-down
2691. Beautiful spring-like day with sunshine
2692. Chickens laying eggs consistently.
2693. Able to watch a missed episode of Downton Abbey for free on PBS website
2694. clean sheets on our bed
2695. Arnika cuddled in the dish towel drawer.
2696. Half a day spent taking photos
2697. Bill helping Andy move the stove
2698. Helen seeing good things in J
2699. Time with LP
2700. Beautiful clear colors of the world in the late afternoon sunlight
2701. EKL thinks to send me photos of Liana
2702. Chance to chat with AA
2703. God is a God of order and the world works well because of it.
2704. Time with Roberta walking and talking
2705. Ability to purchase needed medications
2707. Plan for CR
2708. Getting an update from Holly – being included
2709. Stumbling on a good preacher on the internet
2710. An agreed upon plan to deal with J’s disrespectful tone.
2711. Return of an item went smoothly
2712. Feeling “heard” when expressing myself to Andy about a concern
2713. Articles/information to help make a plan for dealing with a bully situation.
2714. All photos recovered from blown hard drive – like 30,000 of them!
2715. Walking and talking with Denise
2716. Bully not allowed on class trip – easier for all the students
2717. sharing Peach Raspberry Cobbler with Andy
2718. Safe travels for a lot of driving
2719. Sense of humor over poor food and poor service when eating out on weekend trip – all the meals!
2720. Shooting photos at Ironglass Lighting
2721. A morning with Hannah and Camille and a camera
2722. heat source installed by Andy just before a big freeze hit
2723. Seeing beautiful black and white photography in Lewistown Art Center
2724. Wolf feeding on a dead elk 200 yards from our home.
2725. Forgiveness for all the times I forget to be thankful
2726. Watching J process his own photos – learning and excelling at lightroom
2727. J’s photos from Expedition Yellowstone
2728. Expedition Yellowstone was a good experience for J.
2729. J saying thank you to his teachers without being prompted to
2730. Friendly call from Denise asking how our trip was
2731. A fast walk by myself