It doesn’t happen every day, but periodically I wake up from a bad dream and can’t go back to sleep. My mind is very active when I sleep, so dreams are often wild and strange. But when they involve something that separates me from my loved ones I often wake up in great fear and a desire to physically cling to my husband or my son for fear of losing them.
That was the case last night/this morning. I dreamt that J was taken to jail and I couldn’t have access to him. So, at 5:30 a.m. I was up trying to resist the temptation to go crawl in his bed and hold him like a little baby. That would have woke him up, and this being parent teacher conference day, it was a rare chance for him to sleep in. I don’t think he would have appreciated a momma bear crawling into his bed and mauling him with fearful love.
So I went down stairs and entertained/distracted myself. I processed some photos (a theme of my last few days) and used my cricut to cut some paper letters for J to use on a school project. And I turned to my gratitude journal after a bit of time cruising through some art blogs and seeing a reference to a gratitude December Daily on Ali Edward’s recent post – which I may do or modify for November, depending on how late I stay up tonight.
The words of Isaiah 43:1 come to mind –
But now, this is what the LORD says –
he who created you, O Jacob,
he who formed you, O Israel:
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name;
you are mine.
So, here are some of the things in my gratitude list:
570. Friends just down the street
571. Pumpkin bread
572. Photos with potential
573. Running with Andy
574. Apples picked just in time
575. Plans for a trip at the holidays
576. Laura’s warm heart
577. Bright yellow leaves
578. J and Andy enjoying the Stanford football game – it was exciting!
579. Supplies on hand for projects that come up
580. Truck fixed for free
581. Snow on the mountains
582. Joy of photography
583. Opportunity to do art
584. Friends at church
585. Being included in social plans
586. Sewing machine available for the needs that have arisen
587. Reading To Kill a Mocking Bird to J at night
588. Little bits of money coming in from unexpected areas
589. Being reminded that this is the day Martin Luther stepped out with courage and stood for what is still to this day the right thing.