Harsh words spoken. Some accurate. Some not.
Loneliness sets in.
I see it in a friend and know she hurts. I want to step in and offer that special kind of friendship she’s thinking she’s lost. Replace that connection. Salve the hurt.
But it won’t work. You don’t get over the hurt of one friend by rushing out and replacing them with another.
So I pray. Turn it over to God and let Him do the healing.
Earlier in the day a call at work from a friend.
She went to the hospital with suspected appendicitis, and two weeks later knows she has ovarian cancer with a spread to her liver.
But she calls me with giggles and cheerfulness to talk about how good God has been through the whole adventure. To praise Him for his faithfulness and blessings.
She has given it ovr to God – her whole being – and she trusts. Trusts not in a cure or a miracle, but in a God who is good.
I am tasked with raising money – a lot of it.
God is knocking, calling me to a new approach to my job. A chance sow the seeds of His word into others.
To walk with people and help them to mature in their faith – knowing that God will use that spiritual growth to bless His ministry.
To fulfill the plans He has for the ministry. Money and all.
A long day.
A full day.
It must be a gift from God.
That I am at peace with those in my life.
That I don’t have walls being built between me and a loved one. I’ve known that pain before.
That I am healthy.
That I don’t work to recover from surgery in order to put poison in my body to kill the invaider.
That I can let God be in charge of how to do His work.
I’ve seen it all in myself before.
Fight to control and determine the resources He needs for His ministry.
But right now, at this moment, I am blessed to be free from it.
Not because I’ve earned that freedom. I certainly haven’t.
I know it is just a season. A gift from Him.
The hurtful words will come again. I will feel the sting. I will cry the tears. This is not the season for that. This is a season for peace in relationships.
The physical pain will creep in, bringing ill health to my earthly body. This is not the season for that. This is the season for running and jumping and breathing and health.
I will slip into my control-freakish ways again, telling God what we need to accomplish the purposes I have called Him to. But with gratitude and elation I can say, this is not the season for that.
Whether this season of letting go lasts a day, a week, or a year, it is a gift from God.
Probably inspired by Ann’s challenge last week to focus on letting go. To let it all slip from my tight grip and be presented with an open hand, palm up. Let my life be in His control.